I can't believe I wanted to do this. I usually steer clear of this kind of thing, but alas, this is for the the November blog chain on absolute write where:
Write up a back cover blurb for a book you have written or would like to write. It should be short, sweet, yet give a sense of people and events without totally spoiling the ending. NaNoWriMo participation is not required, and the blurb may be for fiction or nonfiction as you see fit.
This blurb is for that novel I keep complaining about editing. Oh... and the main character's name is pronounced La-kie-ya. I just thought the q looked good.
Thirteen-year-old Laqiya used to think controlling the forces of nature made her unique. But ever since her guardian, Nightshield, started pestering Laqiya to use her powers to keep The Tyrant sealed in oblivion and defeat his dark mistresses, she hasn’t wanted them.
It’s too late to hide her powers though. The Tyrant’s mistress, Lady Sahajah, knows who she is, and Nightshield won’t leave her alone. Neither will her three best friends, who seem to want to play out the romantic adventures portrayed in movies more than save the world from evil. But getting lost in foggy forests where the plants attack them to obtain one of the pieces to a staff that can release The Tyrant from oblivion is not romantic. And the Anaxars, three young men who work for the Tyrant and Lady Sahajah, seem to like flirting with Laqiya’s and her friend’s just as much as they like fighting them. Perverts…
Laqiya didn’t ask to be a hero. She just wants to decide what she’ll wear to school on any given day and pass social studies. If acting the part of a hero for a while will make Nightshield and her friends leave her alone to be normal though, fine! But simply acting the part won’t stop Lady Sahajah. A girl who can control the forces of nature is just not a person the dark mistress can risk letting live. But Laqiya isn’t exactly willing to die. Second option? Get over her reluctance, so she can kick Lady Sahajah’s ass, save the world, and then be normal.
So, what did you think folks?
Participants:
orion_mk3 - http://nonexistentbooks.wordpress.com (link to this month's post)
Ralph Pines - http://ralfast.wordpress.com (link to this month's post)
MysteryRiter - http://incessantdroningofaboredwriter.wordpress.com/ (link to this month's post)
AuburnAssassin - http://clairegillian.com/ (link to this month's post)
Jarrah Dale - http://brattysramblings.blogspot.com/ (link to this month's post)
SinisterCola - http://acgatesblog.wordpress.com/ (link to this month's post)
dolores haze - http://dianedooley.wordpress.com/ (link to this month's post)
pyrosama - http://matrix-hole.blogspot.com/ (link to this month's post)
Alynza - http://www.alynzasmith.blogspot.com/ (link to this month's post)
writingismypassion - http://charityfaye.blogspot.com/ (link to this month's post)
Cath - http://www.cathsmith.com/ (link to this month's post)
Inkstrokes - http://drlong67.wordpress.com/ (link to this month's post)
egoodlett - http://wordlarceny.blogspot.com/ (link to this month's post)
LadyDae - http://ladydaewrites.blogspot.com/ (link to this month's post)
SuzanneSeese - http://www.viewofsue.blogspot.com/ (link to this month's post)
Anarchicq - http://anarchicq.com/ (link to this month's post)
Stu Ayris - http://tollesburytimeforever.blogspot.com/ (link to this month's post)
Participants:
orion_mk3 - http://nonexistentbooks.wordpress.com (link to this month's post)
Ralph Pines - http://ralfast.wordpress.com (link to this month's post)
MysteryRiter - http://incessantdroningofaboredwriter.wordpress.com/ (link to this month's post)
AuburnAssassin - http://clairegillian.com/ (link to this month's post)
Jarrah Dale - http://brattysramblings.blogspot.com/ (link to this month's post)
SinisterCola - http://acgatesblog.wordpress.com/ (link to this month's post)
dolores haze - http://dianedooley.wordpress.com/ (link to this month's post)
pyrosama - http://matrix-hole.blogspot.com/ (link to this month's post)
Alynza - http://www.alynzasmith.blogspot.com/ (link to this month's post)
writingismypassion - http://charityfaye.blogspot.com/ (link to this month's post)
Cath - http://www.cathsmith.com/ (link to this month's post)
Inkstrokes - http://drlong67.wordpress.com/ (link to this month's post)
egoodlett - http://wordlarceny.blogspot.com/ (link to this month's post)
LadyDae - http://ladydaewrites.blogspot.com/ (link to this month's post)
SuzanneSeese - http://www.viewofsue.blogspot.com/ (link to this month's post)
Anarchicq - http://anarchicq.com/ (link to this month's post)
Stu Ayris - http://tollesburytimeforever.blogspot.com/ (link to this month's post)
13 comments:
Ah, contemporary save-the-world YA fantasy. where would we be without it?
One thing: What does it meant to "control the forces of nature?" Some examples would be nice.
A bit long, as in you say the same thing twice. I second the commenter above in wondering what those "forces of nature" are specially if trees attack her.
Also, 13 year olds would be a bit more reluctant to go of to adventure than say 7 year olds (I think). A bit more polish and it might work.
Good tips. I love it. The same things I worried about with the plant thing, but I kind of let it be for now. It's certainly helped me figure out how to further edit it!
If there's a lot of fantasy type things going on in the forest just like the attacking plants, I'd get a real kick out of reading this. The reluctant hero is always fun to read about. :D
I agree with the others. While the length isn't so much an issue, it's what you say in that length. Don't try to put too much into the cover copy. If the plants are only briefly in the book, let the reader discover them.
That said, reluctant hero, modern day with fantasy elements? Great combo! Kinda has a Japanese folktale feel to it.
"But ever since her guardian, Nightshield, started pestering Laqiya to use her powers to keep The Tyrant sealed in oblivion and defeat his dark mistresses, she hasn’t wanted them." <-- this line confused me, as it's a bit long... Did she already do this? Or is he just badgering her to get on with it?
It sounds like a cool idea, just work on paring this down to what you really need to say here: "What does she want (to just be left alone, I assume?), what's in the way of her getting what she wants (the nagging mentor and the bad guy's wife?), and what does she decide to do about it (reluctantly save the world to make them stop?)"
Good start though! :D
Wow, lots of drama for this girl! Sounds interesting.
Hmm the second paragraph has an awful lot of people in it. So it's confusing to me what the main thrust of it is.
And paragraph 3 reads almost like the above parts - seems partly repetition to me. I think we can sympathize with her wanting to be normal, but I don't get a good sense of why not just let the Tyrant out? You mention she'll die, but how? by whose hand?
Interesting and very appealing concept. I really do think the blurb can be tightened up though. Cut out the words you don't need, focus on the important bits of plot, and I think you'll be just fine.
I like the concept, especially controlling the forces of nature. I'm curious what that might all include, but hey, I think you have a good start. Just tighten it up a little and go from there. :D Trust me, I understand how difficult it is to decide how much/little to put in one of these blurbs. :)
Gosh, being a thirteen year-old is hard enough, and now she's gotta save the world?! I need to read this! This seems like a fantasy story with a mix of comedy.
I feel the part of the Anaxars can be taken out. Maybe describe another part of the fantasy world? You already talk about the forests...maybe another environmental hazard, since I assume another piece of the staff is there?
Still, awesome premise! Laqiya kicks butt!
That's quite an adventure for a 13 yr old. My kids would love it. I'd second what some of the others have already stated--squeeze out some repetitive verbiage and shrink the number of characters mentioned.
You all are so helpful and supportive! Thanks for all the comments. Time to roll up the sleeves and get to work!
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