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Excerpt of Completely Edited Novel!

I finished editing it! Yahoo! I did it! I did it! It's edited. No more working on it... well, except proofreading. But the structure and story is done. All I'm going in for is looking for typos and that's it. Wanna see an excerpt? Wanna, wanna, wanna? I don't care. I'm going to post an excerpt anyway.

Laqiya paused as she knelt in front of Sakura, near the snake. The wind blew gently against the back of her neck, a stray strand of hair getting in her face.

“Why hasn’t it bitten you?” she asked.

“Laqiya!” Sakura whined loudly and the snake reared back and showed its fangs again but didn’t bite.

“See?” Laqiya asked. “It won’t bite. I don’t think…”

Everyone detected the shift, and Laqiya stood up shaking her head.

“The snake’s a warning,” she said as it dawned on her, and she looked around. “We’re in a garden…”

The snake suddenly hissed and slithered away.

“No wait,” Laqiya said about to chase after it before yelping as she stumbled backwards as thorns from the briar patch to the right of her shot at her side.

“What was that?” Isis asked.

“We’ve got to get out this garden,” Laqiya said getting back up and pulling Sakura to her feet.


“It’s Delsaream,” Laqiya said, “And we’re right in the middle of his-”

Adria screamed as a tree suddenly struck where she had been standing. No one had anymore arguments at that point and scrambled in various directions to get away from the offending plants.

“Stay together!” Nightshield yelled.

“Too late for that,” Laqiya yelled. Everyone had already shot off in different directions.

The problem was, that nowhere in the garden was safe. Everything from the grass, to the vines and the roots of the trees were springing to life.

“Maybe if we sit still and don’t move, it’ll stop,” Sakura suggested.

“You’ve been reading too many fantasy books Sakura,” Adria yelled as she tried to at least press herself against the wall of the castle.

“You have a better idea!” Sakura yelled.

“Yes,” Laqiya said. “Find Delsaream. He’s doing this.”

“Easier said than done,” Nightshield said as she and Plainshield joined Adria against the wall, virtually useless against the plants.

“Wait a minute,” Laqiya said noticing that she hadn’t heard a complaint from Chasity Pearl yet. She looked up to see Chasity above the chaos in the sky, periodically shooting a plant or thick branch with her arrows.

“Chasity!” Laqiya yelled. “Can you find Delsaream from up there?”

“Already tried. He has to be using some kind of camouflage!”

Laqiya started to say something else before sensing something and shouting, “Chasity watch out.”

One of the briar patches straightened up and shot thorns into the air after her warning, striking Chasity Pearl in her wing. Now unable to stay airborne, she fell to the ground, letting out an expletive as she crashed.

“Got anymore ideas?” Isis asked trying to get out the patch of pansies attacking her feet.

Laqiya looked around the garden to the castle and to her luck and everlasting gratefulness, saw a balcony overlooking the garden. It was pretty far but…

“Chasity! The balcony!” Laqiya yelled pointing to it.

“That doesn’t help you all.”

“I have an idea, but you have to help them,” Laqiya said as she looked at the nearest tree.

She ran behind it, and sensing its target in the other direction, it began trying to change the direction of its attack.

“Earth!” Laqiya said to stop the attack. It was certainly a struggle though. Not only was she trying to keep a lock on her abilities, but fight against someone else’s.

“Come on,” Laqiya muttered to herself looking at the balcony, willing the branches of the tree to twist and braid themselves together to form a bridge to connect it.

Delsaream, wherever he was, seemed to figure out what Laqiya was doing and the assault began to focus on her.

Obviously, it makes no sense out of the context. It's only five hundred words of the book so try not to make a final judgment. I'm just so glad I'm done! Now to go back and proofread. If it weren't apparent, this means I'm going to be talking about editing all week!

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Christy Peake said...

Can't wait to ready more! I'm now a follower! Come follow me too!